I made it..... I think?

Happy Birthday Leslie....


I wrote about four months ago that I was worried about making it to my 31st birthday.

Well, here I am.... I am still standing. (more like leaning)


I do not really know if this is what I had in mind when I started out on this journey.
I still have yet to-
"feel emotions"
"taste"
"feel sensations"
"understand"
"question"
"organize"

I still feel a little dead inside.  
My passion..... it's just not what I remember it being.  
I miss that part of myself most of all-   

My uninhibited, lustful passion for life.  

This Ideal I had- it was just as much to do with the physical as it did the mental and emotional.  One of the first words that has always been used to describe me is : Passionate.  

I know for sure this is just something that I will ALWAYS have as part of me.   

I NEED this part of myself again..... 

I know it is somehow missing from many parts of my life.  

But... my Passion is there.  

I WILL find it again. 

I have too.