Today........
Today.... was that day I had been fearing... where I was not able to hold myself together. I was overcome by the dark shadows that had been tailing me for the past year. I had fought the good fight but I suppose this day would come at some point... no matter how much of the healing process I had went through. I could no longer hold back the exhaustion or the tears...
"Those" thoughts came into my mind. "Those" are the ones I don't like to tell anyone about. I think that most people do not want to tell people about these thoughts because" those" thoughts are a one way ticket to letting everyone know you are "crazy", you cannot be relied upon," Ooo don't bother Leslie she is going through sooo much right now".
Fucking shoot me...........................
Today.... was that day I had been fearing... where I was not able to hold myself together. I was overcome by the dark shadows that had been tailing me for the past year. I had fought the good fight but I suppose this day would come at some point... no matter how much of the healing process I had went through. I could no longer hold back the exhaustion or the tears..."Those" thoughts came into my mind. "Those" are the ones I don't like to tell anyone about. I think that most people do not want to tell people about these thoughts because" those" thoughts are a one way ticket to letting everyone know you are "crazy", you cannot be relied upon," Ooo don't bother Leslie she is going through sooo much right now".
FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! fuck! FUCK!
I DO NOT WANT TO BE THAT PERSON!!!
How do I NOT be that person? I have no idea how to get out of this place. Do I need to take time off? Do I need to physically move? Do I just move back home? Do I just jump off the Ben Franklin Bridge? How do I take care of my responsibilities? (the ones I am currently not taking care of)
I have lived this life that I can say I am proud of but how can I make that statement and still be where I am right now?
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