B U R N O U T

-constantly on edge

-irritable

-I could care less about my paperwork (work ethic- out the window)

-I can't wait to get off work (though I have been doing this type of work for so long I don't know what to do with myself when I happen to get off early... so I drink)

-I don't care what time I get to work

-I have no drive to do (well anything at this point)



So, what do I do?  Could I get a month off?  (In my fucking dreams) but it might be helpful. At this point I am so done that I would flip burgers.  I know I have this calling but there is just too much going on... just too much... so much that if I don't do something soon I may never be able to go back....

Here are some of the things that I do know:

-I can't stand the person I wake up to everyday
-I am scared to death of thinking this is who I will be for the rest of my life


( The realization that I might be this person for the rest of my life scares the shit out me.  I cannot hardly stand myself on a day to day basis... how the Fuck am I going to sustain a meaningful.....




ANYTHING?


That deflated the little air I had left in me.....