I have this great 1950's record player. It's this big, clunky, heavy as shit, kind with a top that lifts up. As much as I have loathed moving it around. I am so happy that I kept it. I love the quirky little details like what today, we would call the volume is marked as 'Loudness' on this record player. Tonight I just out of the blue I would bust out my old records. I listened to all kinds of music tonight and it was so nice to just hang out at my new place and do something that I loved to do but I had not made the time before. Everyday, I realize how much of myself that I really lost due to Love and the last seven years.
How did I ever allow so many essential parts of my being become constricted, lost and beaten down?
What happened to me was so against everything I stood for, my personality and my core values. I let go of all those parts of me for Love. Writing that down makes me feel sick to my stomach. Love.... I love, Love. Is that really the best reason I can come with? I almost completely lost everything about myself and that is my answer. I was really willing to sacrifice that much... which looking at the past 7 years all my sacrifice did was cause a prolonging of the inevitable decline. Perhaps.... perhaps not....
Love is.
Passion... Obsession.... Someone you can't live without.If you are lacking in any of these.....
Then the expectation cannot be much....
Fall head over heels.
I say, find someone you can love like crazy and who'll love you the same way back.
How? How would you come across someone that would be 'the one'?
Forget your head, the rules, the game and listen to your heart.
Yes, the heart.
If I'm not hearing the heart.
Then just let things be... and be ok with that, I mean really ok.
Yes, you will run the risk,
The greatest risk of all....
[a broken heart]
The truth is....
There is no sense living your life without Love.
To make that journey and not fall deeply in love...
Well, you haven't lived a life at all.
You have to try....
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